Mile High Turtle

Today, my hometown of Denver, Colorado had the honor and privilege of hosting John McCain. McCain spoke at my alma mater, the University of Denver. During his speech, he spoke about trying to hold negotiations with China to halt nuclear weapon production and about trying to enact a treaty with Russia to destroy more nuclear weapons. McCain also commented about the threat of Iran and North Korea in the nuclear weapon game. McCain also imparted this gem of wisdom on the Denver crowd: “There’s no such thing as good international citizenship. And America must be a good citizen of the world.”

During the speech, McCain was interrupted by protesters against the Iraq War. While the protesters were being escorted out, McCain said, “One thing we don’t do is interfere with other people’s right to free speech, but that doesn’t seem to be the case with these people.” McCain reiterated his stance on Iraq, saying, “I will never surrender in Iraq, my friends.” McCain apparently has a lot of of friends. Nearly 400 people attended the event, contrasting the 18.000 that showed up for this event, the 3,000 that showed up for this event (while it was snowing), the roughly 2,000 that showed up for this event and the 1,000+ that showed up for this event. You can feel the energy in the air for John McCain is palpable when he can draw about as many people as a Stryper concert (pictured above).

Tonight, McCain will have dinner with his more important/wealthier friends at the Stampede in Aurora, Colorado. It is a classy place indeed (too bad he’s going to miss ladies night).

McCain Looks for a Lizard (pt. 3)

After a far too long hiatus, we’re (as in the royal we, referring to me) back.

Today, the New York Times reported that John McCain will begin having meetings with potential running mates at his ranch in Sedona, Arizona. The three people being invited to the ranch to discuss the VP position are Florida governor and Savior doppelganger Charlie Crist, former Massachusetts governor and hair titan Mitt Romney, and Louisiana governor/Republican-version of Barack Obama Bobby Jindal.

Bobby Jindal’s invitation to meet with McCain comes as a mild surprise because he is a relatively fresh face in politics and he is from turtle soup’s home, Louisiana. At 36, Jindal became the youngest governor in the United States earlier this year and he has limited executive experience. However, Jindal’s young age could be a boon for a presidential ticket featuring a sea turtle that Darwin witnessed on his first visits to the Galapagos Islands. In addition, Jindal is capable of drawing the conservative base to McCain. Notably, one of Jindal’s biggest fans (literally and figuratively) is Rush Limbaugh, who has called him the next Ronald Regan.

Another thing to consider with Jindal is race. By nominating an Indian-American for the VP position, the GOP could deflect criticism that it is a collection of stuffy, white men and green turtles. However, many rural swing voters might have a tough time deciding which race they don’t want to vote for: the Blacks who used to do all the work for America domestically or the Indians who currently do all the work for America overseas. With Jindal, it is tough to know whether his race will be an advantage or disadvantage.

McCain has also shown his conservative credentials by failing to meet with any women for the Vice Presidency position.

Still Alive

Hey, I’m still alive and will be posting again after this weekend.  Don’t worry, John McCain’s turtle legs will not take him away from the public eye any time soon.