My friends, John McCain continues to languish in the background of the news media as the Democratic presidential battle continues. Do not worry, because the straight-talk express will continue rambling across this land. In a campaign email this weekend, our favorite turtle said the following: “This week I embarked on a trip to areas of the United States seldom-visited and all too often forgotten by our nation’s leaders.” As a senior member of the Senate, we must remember that John McCain is not one of these so-called “nation’s leaders,” but just a peon amongst the evil of Washington politics. He should not be blamed for forgetting areas of the nation.
In addition, even with his limited powers as a senior member of the Senate, McCain has not forgotten America. As evidenced in an article by the New York Times on April 22nd, John McCain remembered the location of Fort Ord in California when long-time campaign contributor and friend Donald Diamond wanted to purchase the land for real estate development: “McCain assigned an aide who set up a meeting at the Pentagon and later stepped in again to help speed up the sale.” The Times also reported that “In 1991 and 1994, McCain sponsored two laws sought by Diamond that resulted in providing him millions of dollars and thousands of acres in exchange for adding some of his [Diamond’s] properties to national parks.” This proves that McCain didn’t forget our national parks like many people in Washington. McCain has also not failed to forget places like Sedona, Tuscon and the Bahamas: “Over the years, Diamond and his wife, Joan, visited the McCains at their ranch in Sedona, Arizona, and entertained them in their Tucson home and in the Bahamas, where Diamond sometimes keeps his 134-foot yacht.”
While some people have speculated that there is some impropriety in the three land deals with which McCain has helped Diamond, it’s hard to believe that McCain has really shown Diamond much favoritism. Look at the stats: “Diamond and his family have given more than $55,000 to McCain’s campaigns…and [he] is now serving as a national co-chairman of the finance committee for McCain’s current presidential run.” $55,000 really isn’t that much money to most politicians who are drunk on money from Budweiser sales and Diamond is only a co-chair, not the sole chair. Obviously, McCain really doesn’t like him all that much, probably due to one of Diamond’s visits to New Orleans where he ate turtle soup. The way Diamond’s mouth hangs open and the way he moistens his lips demonstrates that Diamond sees more than a friend in John McCain, but a potential Cajun soup ingredient. If only the New York Times reported on the actual threat of soupmaking within the McCain campaign, we wouldn’t have to worry about flimsy allegations of campaign maleficence.
Turtlewatching - John McCain 